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Dr. Seuss' Beowulf , because some things should not be resisted.
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"The mark of a truly great mind isn't whether you're right or wrong. It's how well you can weasel out of a jam." -- Cecil Adams, author of The Straight Dope

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." -- Bill Watterson, in Calvin and Hobbes, 1988

"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education." -- Albert Einstein

"Are you offering me the dreary exile of your imagination?" -- Jean Genet, The Maids

"She had been forced into prudence in her youth, she learned romance as she grew older: the natural sequel of an unnatural beginning." -- Jane Austen in Persuasion

"Ninety per cent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarrassment." --Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters, 1990

“I took advantage of a pigeon once.” -- overheard at choir practice

“Symptoms of "Pathological Science"
1. The maximum effect that is observed is produced by a causative agent of barely detectable intensity, and the magnitude of the effect is substantially independent of the intensity of the cause.
2. The effect is of a magnitude that remains close to the limit of detectability, or many measurements are necessary because of the very low statistical significance of the results.
3. There are claims of great accuracy.
4. Fantastic theories contrary to experience are suggested.
5. Criticisms are met by ad hoc excuses thought up on the spur of the moment.
6. The ratio of supporters to critics rises up to somewhere near 50% and then falls gradually into oblivion.”
From a lecture by Irving Langmuir, in 1953. Transcript published in Physics Today, October 1989.

"Women have girlfriends so they don’t have to die of loneliness, waiting for a guy to start a significant conversation." -- Rhonda Raskin

"A subtle joke about a man's character can ruin a reputation faster than an obvious lie." -- Texas Bix Bender in A Cowboy's Guide to Life

"Oh! do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch." -- Jane Austen in Mansfield Park

"One thing is for sure, the sheep is not a creature of the air. They have enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perchin'. (Baaa baaa... flap flap flap ... whoosh ... thud.) Trouble is, sheep are very dim. Once they get an idea in their 'eads, there's no shiftin' it." -- Monty Python

"When marrying, one should ask oneself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this woman into your old age?" -- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Modal auxiliaries: any one of the verbs that combine with the main verb to express necessity (must), obligation (should), permission (may), probability (might), possibility (could), ability (can), or tentativeness (would)." -- from Strunk and White's The Elements of Style.

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